I wasn’t sure if I could write this email today, but I’m writing it now because I could use the break. In case you’re not Nigerian, presidential elections are ongoing in my country, and keeping up with the updates has stressed me. But away from that, how are you doing?
As for me, I experienced exhaustion this week. My calendar was super booked with meetings and tasks from Monday to Friday. And it made me realise I need a free day to do nothing. Currently, I spend my Sunday evenings writing this dispatch email, but I’m looking to move it to Friday so my Sundays are free, and I get one day a week to myself. But I need your input; which works best for you?
Please let me know in the poll above or in a comment or reply email which works best, thank you.
♥️ Marriage corner
I have been quite vocal about how marriage tests and causes you to grow as a person. Disagreements are a normal part of a healthy marriage as it shows that you both communicate your opinions, however different, and air out your displeasure. I have observed in my little time being married that the longer you leave a fight or disagreement to linger, the harder it is to resolve. I’m learning and have learnt to try and resolve issues quickly.
In our first year of marriage, there were instances where we would let a fight go on for a few days to the point that both of us forgot what the original cause of the fight was. And not just that, other disagreements piled up on top of the initial one. Allowing a disagreement to linger creates a gap between you and your spouse that only gets wider and wider until resolved. And this is one of the ways you give the devil a foothold in your marriage because he begins to sow seeds of disunity and resentment in your heart. I’m at a point where I try to resolve issues as quickly as I can, which goes both ways. It’s OK to have disagreements but resolve them quickly.
💷 Money Corner - No Spend March
I have decided to make March my no-spend month. I had a no-spend month sometime in October last year after realising I had spent so much money in September. However, my trip to Nigeria this February and a few other expenses here and there have made February a rather expensive month for me😭 and to balance it out, I’m not spending shinbaign (a dime) in March, and I know it’ll be hard. So my goal for this no-spend month is to save money (obviously) and also to practice some self-control with my money.
If you’re wondering what a no-spend month is, it means only spending money on necessities and zero on wants. So I’ll pay my bills as usual and all other fixed expenses, but I’m not spending any money on takeouts, shopping, nails (lol just realised this), hair, skincare, makeup etc. You get the gist.
I’m sharing this here so I can hold myself accountable. Also, if you want to join me, that would be awesome, so I know I’m not alone. You can reply to this email if you would be joining me, make a post on socials, tag me, or use the hashtag #cpdnospendmarch. Wish me luck! 😩
🤔 What’s on my mind
You lied about skincare, and I’m not impressed. I decided to invest in skincare this year by buying products for the first time everrrrrr and learning about my skin. I researched the best products and purchased a couple online, but I noticed my face didn’t improve after a few days. So I booked a session with a skincare expert.
The consultation made me realise some products in my skincare stash were not good for my skin and were causing dehydration. The skincare expert first educated then worked with me to create a new regime for my skin with a few products. She advised me to give it at least six weeks to evaluate whether the current routine works for me.
Well, brothers and sisters, I won’t lie o, I have seen some improvement - my skin feels supple, BUT my skin isn’t clear of blemishes yet 💁🏽♀️. I still have dark spots and some unevenness on my skin. You people lied, I assumed that a few weeks into this thing and the results would be astonishing🙄. I just rolled my eyes. I should probably return to my water, vibes and God’s glory, as that seemed to work just fine. So tell me truthfully now, when will I have crystal clear skin? When? *cries in how expensive these products are*.
👩🏽💻 Catch Up
Someone commented that I haven’t been sharing the books I’m reading and I’m sorry about that. Books I’ve read so far in 2023 are:
➡ The Light We Carry by Michelle Obama - In the first part of this book, she talks about owning your light and taking risks. I found that piece unengaging for me to read, but I was glued by the second part when she delved into the friendships and relationships that have shaped her.
➡ The Making of a Manager by Julie Zhuo - I started reading this book because I was anticipating a promotion at work and needed some insight on how to be an effective manager. The book is helpful, but some advice is tailored to the author’s career field, Product Design. So I’m just picking the bits I need.
➡ Dele weds Destiny by Tomi Obaro - my first African Fiction read for the year. It’s my current read, and I’m more than halfway through. This book tells the story of friendship between three women surviving decades of distance and unexpected surprises.
That’s all for now, till next time, please drink lots of water and use sunscreen!
XOXO - Chidera
Hi Chidera, I trust you are well. Do you, Fridays or Sundays, what works for you is essential, and most importantly, keep the emails coming as I love to read from you.
I remember a marriage counselling session, do not sweep things under the rug as it tends to pile up; I am glad you realised this very early as it works. Despite being pre-informed with this advice, we only used it much later in the marriage. 13 years later, it works.
Skincare takes a while; give it time. I am glad you eventually consulted a professional, as that should have been the first step. Your skin will thank you for a consistent routine later in life; you will be amazed at how you will glow as you approach your mid-forties with your skin not sagging.
I sent an email as regards the telegram group while you were in Nigeria; I had been on the group for about 4months but not anymore as I changed my number; I would appreciate it if you look into this.
Have a fantastic week ahead.
ahhh, aunty chidera…. relaxxxxxxxx, breatheeee😂😂😂. the skincare will work especially since you have noticed the immediate subtle changes. as for the election, God epp us😭😭😭. hope you are fine and well rested