Why We’re Never Satisfied

Issue #07 of the Chidera Peters Dispatch

I’ve been thinking a lot about the pursuit of more—how we set a goal, work hard to achieve it, and almost immediately, our sights shift to the next thing.

For years, I dreamed of buying my own home. I planned, saved aggressively, and made it happen. At the time, it felt like such a huge accomplishment. But now? I find myself thinking, this house is too small. I want bigger rooms, more space, something that feels like a “forever home”.

But here’s the dilemma:

Right now, we’re overpaying our mortgage and on track to clear a 30-year mortgage in 16 years. We’ve even looked at ways to cut it down further to just 10 years by increasing our overpayments, adjusting our budget, and making some short-term sacrifices for long-term peace of mind.

But should we?

Would it be wiser to move to a bigger home, enjoy the extra space, and stretch our mortgage out again? Or should we stay put, pay it off fast, and enjoy the freedom of being mortgage-free?

A totally unrelated photo from date night with the husband some weeks ago

This has made me think about the bigger picture. Does the pursuit of more ever stop?

📌 A Princeton University research on the "focusing illusion" shows that people overestimate how much happiness upgrades like a bigger home or higher income bring. The boost is often short-lived as we quickly adapt and start chasing the next goal.

📌 Psychologists call this "the Hedonic Treadmill"—the idea that no matter what we achieve, we return to the same baseline level of happiness and set new goals. We tell ourselves, "Once I get X, I’ll be satisfied." But when we get there, the goalpost moves.

So I’m asking myself:

• Is upgrading my house about genuine need or just wanting more?

• Would a bigger house actually make life better, or would I just find new things to chase?

• What does “enough” look like for me?

I think these are questions worth asking in different areas of life—not just with money, but career, lifestyle, and even personal achievements.

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💰 The Cost of Chasing More

Ever achieved something you once dreamed of, only to find yourself wanting more? A bigger home, a higher salary, a new milestone—it feels great at first, but soon, the goalpost moves.

But here’s the real question: When is enough, enough?

💭 Think about it:

✅ More = More Debt – A bigger lifestyle often means bigger financial commitments. Are you spending money to improve your quality of life, or just to keep up with an internal (or external) expectation?
✅ More = More Pressure – Higher earnings can lead to higher expenses, keeping you stuck in a cycle where you have to keep working at the same pace just to sustain the lifestyle.

✅ More = Less Freedom – What’s the real flex—owning more things or having the ability to choose how you spend your time? Would you rather have a high-status lifestyle that demands you to keep earning, or financial independence where you can work on your own terms?

At the same time…

✅ More = More Comfort – Some upgrades are worth it. A bigger home might mean more space for a growing family. A new car might bring reliability. Spending more on experiences over things can add joy. The key is making sure it's a conscious decision, not just a default tendency to want more.

✅ More = More Opportunity – Sometimes, "more" leads to better opportunities. Investing in yourself, whether through education, property, or career growth, can create new doors to long-term wealth and security.

So, where do you draw the line?

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That’s all for now, hopefully, today’s email causes you to pause and reflect on the motivating factor in your pursuit of more.

Until next time, drink lots of water and sit with your back straight!

XOXO
Chidera