Hi šš½āāļø itās me again, the girl who writes emails no one asked for. I honestly donāt know what to write about today as I donāt want to sound like āthe girl whose emails are always sad.ā And thatās because, once again, this week has been A LOT and my mental health took a BIG hit.
I didnāt realise just how overwhelmed I was until yesterday when I had an outburst. Letās just say I did some things I wasnāt proud of, and my actions cost me about Ā£450. Looking back, I really donāt know how I got to that point, but I have accepted that I need to get help; I need therapy. Anger /frustration is such a vile emotion, but in my case, it was mixed with loads of pent-up stress.
š©š½āš» What I worked on this week
I barely had time for other things this week as my 9-5 was very tasking. I managed the execution of 3 events that occurred simultaneously this weekend. So my week was spent organising event attendees, finalising invoice payments and handling the delivery of inventory. As you can imagine, I havenāt had a restful weekend. And coupled with that, my husband and I spent the better part of yesterday repainting our room. Our Landlord finally gave us the go-ahead to change our pastel brown walls to white, and I couldnāt be happier. I could have spent today resting, but we also got a new IKEA wardrobe (3 doors) and have literally spent the whole day setting it up. As I sit writing this email, my back is killing me.
š”What Iām learning
On my reading list for the month of October are 4 books. I have gotten two, and the other two are temporarily unavailable on Amazon; waiting for them to restock. The books are:
The Secret Lives Of Baba Segiās Wives - got it because I realise I enjoy reading African fiction books. I read two last month - Yinka Whereās Your Huzzband (absolutely hilarious!) and Stay With Me (captivating, full of unexpected turns and twists). I reviewed both books on youtube.
Ikigai: The Japanese secret to a long and happy life - got this as Iāve seen great reviews of it on Twitter + could use some mindful reading
Total Money Makeover - I got the recommendation from a newsletter Iām subscribed to, and itās about money š.
Get Good With Money - Iām sure you already know why I got this, Iām all about levelling up my personal finance knowledge.
I have already started reading āThe Secret Lives Of Baba Segiās Wivesā, itās the book on my bedside table. I usually read it at night before drifting off to sleep. Then I read Ikigai at random times during the day.
Iād probably share a detailed review later.
š¤ Whatās on my mind
Is quitting such a bad thing? We always advise people to keep trying, but I think it takes even greater courage to know when to quit. And quitting shouldnāt be bad; someone quitting doesnāt mean they arenāt persistent. I saw a tweet that said, āQuitting is not an option!ā¦ā and I literally kissed my teeth. Why is quitting such a bad thing?
In case youāre wondering where this is coming from, let me fill you in. I spent a lot of time this week considering quitting everything - from youtube to fitness, social media etc. And my greatest fear has been: what if I quit now and then regret not committing to showing up later? But the truth is, if anyone should be named the Queen of Consistency, itās me. I always show up. In everything I do, I put my all into it. But I realise that I CAN choose not to show up. I can choose to spend a Saturday doing nothing. I can choose to quit and still have things turn out fine. Quitting doesnāt always have to mean negative consequences.
Also, I randomly decided to share with my Youtube audience the burnout Iām experiencing. Picked up my tripod stand and a light kit at past 12 AM on Friday night and shot this video. It provides some more context as to why Iām quitting or, in this case, taking a break.
Iām realising this email is becoming really long for someone who didnāt know what to write, so Iāll stop here. Hopefully, I will show up here next week Sunday. Till then, have an awesome week!
āš½ Quote of the week
Thereās no quote. I didnāt come across any that resonated with me this week.
These write-ups really feel personal to me..... But I'm also hopeful that there are others who are trying, just like me. And I won't give up but if its undeniably necessary...then quiting is the final antidote.
I actually do admire your courage at starting the CPD series. I am sure you're well aware of the fact that people don't read a lot in this part of the world, and you still were undaunted and started writing anyways! That takes a great deal of courage and determination!
I can identify with the "burnt-out" feeling, as I have been going through a similar phase in the past few days!
You should take some time off in order to regain your strength and energy. However, you are doing a great deal that many people will find difficult to even venture at starting - especially in the intellectual space of penning down your thoughts and feelings. So, don't quit!
I am glad you are married and therefore potentially has someone close to share your thoughts, emotions and other sides to you with.
I believe things will work well for you eventually. Don't wait on however for YouTube, Instagram etc to validate you. You are already precious to God regardless of your perceived successes or failures.
Chin-up and cheer-up!