I am not seeking anyone's validation

An issue of the Chidera Peters' Dispatch

Is it just me, or was this week extra long? It felt like it took forever for the weekend to come. Anywho, let’s jump right in, shall we?

An unrelated photo from 2020

👩🏽‍💻 What I worked on this week

Remember the membership I mentioned in the last email, which I launched and then realised wasn’t a good fit? Yes, that. So I had a call with a business Coach on Monday, and we devised a good plan to communicate this change to my audience. In between many reply emails and refund processing, I have been able to sort that out and phew! boy, am I glad! 😁

I also hosted a FREE academic writing webinar focusing on how to start essay assignments + best practices for academic writing. Over 500 persons registered, and from the feedback received, it’s safe to say I did an amazing job! In addition to this, I launched registration for the 4th cohort of my academic coaching programme, which commences next week. Even though I did not launch this cohort as planned, i.e. in October, I’m super proud of myself for still seeing it through and being in a mental space to teach.

Some feedback from my FREE academic writing webinar

P.S. Please note that alongside the things I mention here, I still have a 9-5, which takes the bulk of my time 😅.

💡What I’m learning

Honestly, I won’t lie. I don’t think I learnt anything this week 🤔. I barely read any books this week and spent my leisure time binging on a Netflix series 🌝.

Well, maybe the only thing I’m realising is that pregnancy has an extremely good PR for something that completely alters a woman’s life. And this is coming from the many videos I have watched of women sharing their pregnancy journeys, the experiences of my pregnant friends, to some untold truths gathered from my mum and aunts. Don’t get me wrong, having a baby is an AMAZING blessing ✨, but the process leading up to that isn’t a walk in the park.

And I am most grateful that women are becoming more transparent with sharing just how life-changing it is - the struggles, the fears, the aftermath etc because, with knowledge, you’re better prepared and know what to expect. So yes, I’m deeply grateful for a time like this.

🤔 What’s on my mind

First, I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who replied to my last dispatch. I was strongly encouraged by your kind words and deeply grateful that you took the time to write back ♥️.

However, I also received an email advising me to revisit the purpose of these emails. Please let me state this clearly - if I would seek content direction from my audience on Youtube or ask for content suggestions from my audience on Instagram; this email series isn’t a place where I would seek content direction or write emails to fit into an idea you have of me or write what pleases you.

And then, talking about the purpose of this email series, let’s revisit that, shall we? I started this dispatch series with the singular aim of sharing my life and work, and that’s what I’m doing. Not everything I put out is “content”, and I honestly do not need anyone’s validation in this space where I share freely because I want to.

The Chidera Peters @chiderapeters_

Sometimes I just share things because I want to. Not everything I put out is “content” with an expected outcome. It’s not always about views, likes, subscribers, a niche or getting new followers.

Also, giving unsolicited advice and then saying, “I know this is unsolicited advice. I hope it doesn’t offend you” is straight-up offensive. You wouldn't have added that if you didn’t think it was offensive. Please, let’s be kind with our words.

Why am I sharing this here instead of simply replying to the email?

1. I’m sharing it here so if anyone else plans to send me a similar email, they wouldn’t. I was vulnerable enough to share my mental health challenges with you, and I am even more determined to protect my peace. You shouldn’t feel like you have a say in what I do and how I do it. I like to share my life’s journey so the lines can get blurred, but please know that boundaries exist.

2. I’m sharing this here as a reminder that judging or giving advice is always easy when you’re not in the person’s shoes. Before you give “unsolicited advice”, ask yourself: how does this comment or feedback help this person? what’s my motive for sending this?

That being said, with regard to my overall well-being, I’m doing great actually. I’m gradually getting back to doing the things I love, such as teaching and being in front of a camera recording videos. I even uploaded a video today sharing how we (my husband and I) manage our bills + finances as a couple in the UK.

✍🏽 Quote of the week

"There is a time to provide advice and offer an opinion, and there is a time not to. Don't be too quick to offer unsolicited advice. It certainly will not endear you to people." ~ Harvey Mackay.