Why do good people have to suffer?

An issue of the Chidera Peter's Dispatch

This is my second attempt at starting this email 😅 having glanced at my outline for the umpteenth time. First, how are you? I hope you had a lighter week than mine.

An unrelated photo from January 2021, which I took with my phone

Someone should please tell me why good people have to suffer. I’m a good person - I’m kind, mind my business, and love to help, so why have I been saddled with the burden of a lowered metabolism? Why do I gain weight easily? Not so long ago, I could eat ANYTHING and at any time and not gain weight. I hate that a slowed metabolism and easy weight gain come with growing older. I heard it gets worse in one’s thirties.

But how long will I continue like this? I want to eat what I love in the portion I want (now this is the key point - the portion I want) without gaining weight 🙅🏽‍♀️. I’m a good person and do not deserve to suffer denying myself happiness. Yes, because food is happiness to me 😭. I became intentional about healthy eating in May after realising I had gained over 10KG, and my BMI said I was obese for my height and weight (lol, imagine me obese?).

The main reason I worked on losing weight was that I felt heavier and didn’t like that my clothes didn’t fit anymore. After three gruesome months of consistency and insane discipline, I lost weight. But now comes the struggle of maintaining it. Again I ask, why do good people have to suffer?

The Chidera Peters @chiderapeters_

A lirru pizza here, some Nando’s wings there and a sprinkle of popcorn… Boom! 2KG gained Ah, I hate this. There was a time I could eat whatever and however I want and remained the same size. What went wrong???😖

👩🏽‍💻 What I worked on this week

I started off the week by completing the capstone project for my professional certification in digital marketing at Imperial College London. After 22 intense weeks of classes, unending assignments and live webinars, I’m glad to have completed the programme. My official grade hasn’t been released yet, it should be out mid-week, and I’ll update you on the outcome.

💡What I’m learning

I wrapped up my readings for the month of October. Here’s a short summary of each book I read:

1. The secret lives of Baba Segi’s Wives - Baba Segi had 4 wives, and they all had a shared secret. The story follows the life of his youngest wife, Bolanle and how her inability to conceive led to the reveal of the secrets of his three other wives. This secret devastated Baba Segi and shook the very foundation of his family.

2. Ikigai, the Japanese secret to a long and happy life - this book is an expose into the lives of the inhabitants of a town called Okinawa in Japan. Okinawa is home to the longest-living people on earth. Many Okinawans live to be over a hundred years while having a very vibrant life. The book looks into the secret behind their longevity, their diet, habit and overall lifestyle. The book's key focus is Ikigai, which could be interpreted to mean life’s purpose. Okinawans greatly associated their longevity with their Ikigai.

3. The total money makeover: A good beginner-friendly book on getting your finances in order. It outlines 7 steps to follow to have a complete money overhaul. However, a lot of the financial principles and information are only beneficial to residents of America. I picked a few lessons I could apply and completed some workbook sheets included. It was a long read; I felt like the book's first half dragged on for too long.

I also uploaded a short video review of the three books on Instagram. It’s a bit more detailed.

🤔 What’s on my mind

What do you do when it feels like the people you work harder than achieve better results? I watched this video by Tolulope Solutions, where she provided some practical biblical principles to help in such times. I noticed that I was beginning to feel that way towards certain people. For example, with Youtube, there are some YouTubers who only arrived on the scene, yet they have amassed views and subscribers. While I’ve been at it for years and haven’t recorded the same success they have.

But as Tolulope pointed out, when we focus on the success of others and feel like we should have been the one in their place, we’re indirectly saying they’re not deserving of God’s grace. And at the same time, we’re ignoring God’s grace in our lives. So instead of focusing on or comparing another person’s growth to mine, how about I focus on the thousands of subscribers I already have? how about being grateful that even in my worst-performing month in terms of views (i.e. October), I still earned the most from youtube in this same month? How about being grateful for my journey so far?

Another way this shows up is on Instagram, where people’s successes make me feel like I’m not doing enough and one way I have handled this in recent times is to mute, restrict or unfollow the person. While this might seem like a good approach, it doesn’t deal with the main thing, which is the position of my heart. Doing these things may work in the short term, but I need to work on my heart and ask God for the grace to look beyond my feelings and genuinely celebrate with others. I’m still a work in progress.

📖 Books for November

I’m realising I love African fiction, and that’s what I’ll mostly read this month. These are the books.

Books for November

• The girl with a louding voice by Abi Dare

• His only wife by Peace Adzo Medie

• An American Marriage by Tayari Jones

• Steal like an Artist by Austin Kleon

📹 New On Youtube

I uploaded a rather hilarious video sharing my experience as a Nigerian woman married to a Ghanaian man in the UK. You can watch by tapping the image below

That would be all for now. Till next week, please drink lots of water!

XOXO