I Started Therapy And Then I Quit
An Issue Of The Chidera Peters Dispatch
My legs are cold as I type this 🥶. My husband and I just got in after going out to pick up some Chinese takeaway. It’s so cold outside, and I am literally not a fan of winter. What’s there to love about the cold days, dark nights and constant rain? lol 😭. Anyway, the first update is that I started therapy, and then I quit. On Sunday evening, it felt like my head was about to burst. I had a million things running through my mind at the same time. I eventually opened up to my husband about it, and that night, I paid for therapy.
I had the first session on Wednesday, and it was an intriguing experience talking to a stranger about my “issues” 🌝. My therapist is based in the U.S. and had a heavy accent, making comprehension difficult for me. She was also elderly and wasn’t familiar with some things I mentioned, like content creation, the creator economy etc. While I got some help from the session, I didn’t feel like she understood me, so I decided to change Therapist. The new therapist I was paired with was very unresponsive and slow to schedule a session.
At that point, I accepted that this platform wasn’t the best for me. I applied for a refund for the remaining sessions, which should be paid into my account soon. I am still on the hunt for a therapist that’s compatible with me. I found a few private practice therapists in the UK and would probably be trying my luck with one soon. So keep your fingers crossed for me 🤞🏽.
👩🏽💻 What I worked on this week
I launched the CP Community’s membership this week and already have a couple of students signed up. By the way, thanks for your feedback on the website last week; I appreciate it. But it seems like I’ve made another mistake by launching this membership. By collecting payments from people, I am promising to deliver value for the duration of their membership which in this case will be for one academic year. Looking at the state of affairs with my mental health and employee capacity, I think I shot myself in the leg with this one. You might be wondering why I didn’t think this through before launching it, well here’s why:
I act fast. Once I have an idea, I am quick to implement it. It’s one of my greatest and worst strengths at the same time. I already had a system that worked for the CP Community but felt to try making it a membership. Now I’m realising it wouldn’t work, and I’ve been feeling really bad about it.
How do I go back to my audience to tell them I won’t be proceeding with the membership + issue refunds? I don’t want to look like a joke 😔. My husband encouraged me, saying that at least now I have tried the membership route, and I know for certain that it wouldn't work with my business model, and it’s way better than not tyring it and wondering “what if” later down the line. Anyways I have booked a call with a business coach for Monday to discuss the way forward and how to rectify this. I just keep making mistakes.
💡What I’m learning
I attended a webinar organised by Female Invest earlier in the week and learnt more about the FIRE movement. In case you don’t know what that means, FIRE is an acronym for Financial Independence, Retire Early an approach to personal finance that encourages people to save up to 70% of their income, secure investments, live frugally and thus retire early. FIRE isn’t just about retiring early but also gaining Financial Independence, which could mean not being stuck at a job you hate just because you have bills to pay.
The webinar had a guest speaker who had used this FIRE approach and retired in her 40s with her husband. They have up to 1 million pounds in investments, providing them with a £40,000 annual income that funds their lifestyle. After attending the webinar, all I could think about was:
By the way, if you are resident in the UK and want to learn about financial opportunities and investments and do more with your money. Join Female Invest and get 50% OFF their yearly plan by clicking here. You’re welcome!
🤔 What’s on my mind
I logged into Instagram after being away for weeks, and I probably shouldn’t have 😏. I thought I was ready to go back online, but after logging in and scrolling through the feed, I realised I’m not “there” mentally. A lot of things on the timeline still make me feel like I am not doing enough or making much progress. I don’t spend a lot of time on the app anymore, and depending on how things go, I might take a hiatus from the app for at least a month.
Secondly, I uploaded two videos to youtube this week. I had batch created these videos before my mental health took a big hit. Both videos were almost completely edited, so I spent a few minutes adding some final touches and chose just to upload them rather than have the videos sitting in my laptop. I have one more video left from the content batch that might go out next week. Then after that, I will face the challenge of figuring out what actually to share on youtube.
I’m in such a weird place. I don’t even know how to explain it. Apart from seeking therapy, I have been taking time to pray and stay with God. Some days have been good, and others not so great, but I know that this too shall pass. I will get the clarity I seek and will be back to a 100 soon.
Till next Sunday, please drink lots of water; your kidneys would thank you.