Home has changed for me

An issue of the Chidera Peters Dispatch

Okay, so how do I start? 😅 First, I want to apologise for not sending an email last Sunday or the one before. It’s been a rollercoaster of events on my end.

😮‍💨 New levels of hardship

I was in Nigeria for the past 11 days, where I experienced new levels of hardship. You’ve probably heard about the Naira redesign and how cash is not in circulation in the country. Well, I have first-hand experience with it. I spent hours queueing at the bank to renew a token for one of my accounts and was only granted access to the premises after passionately explaining that I wasn’t there to withdraw money. And this was the second bank I was visiting that morning.

BTS of a photoshoot I had in Abuja

In the bank, I was tossed from one table to another, and the crowd of people in the banking hall didn’t make the place conducive either. Eventually, a man slumped in the bank due to exhaustion and stress; I was so scared because I didn’t want another death to happen around me. I finally left the bank with my issue unresolved. The bank apparently did not have ‘network’ to perform the OTP function.

Listen, I grew up in Nigeria and spent 23 years of my life in the country, but the hardship I experienced in these eleven days is overwhelming. I had money in my account, but I couldn’t access it. The POS vendors saw this as an opportunity to cash out, but can we really blame them? I heard they also paid a charge to get money from the banks. Even with this, it’s absolutely outrageous that I had to pay 30% of every money I withdrew from them. So that’s 3,000 Naira for every 10,000 Naira and 6,000 Naira for every 20,000 Naira. This is NOT normal. This is NOT okay.

How about the rising cost of food in the country? I know most countries around the world experienced inflation, but I did not expect one egg to be 120 Naira from 60 Naira or one PET bottle of Fanta to be 250 Naira from 180 Naira, all in the space of one year since my last visit to the country.

🏡 Home has changed for me.

This brings me to the second thing, my stay in Nigeria made me realize that home has changed for me. When I was planning my trip, I was supposed to stay for 4 days, but because I wanted to enjoy home and had plans for the many things I would do in Nigeria, I extended my trip to 11 days, which I regretted. Home didn’t feel like home. Instead, it felt like I was away from home. I don’t know if I’m making sense😅. I enjoyed seeing my family - being with my siblings and parents, but I wanted to go home. To be home with Jason. This was my first time visiting my family since my wedding, and I never expected to feel this way. It was a strange feeling to be home and yet not feel at home.

We were given advice in marriage counselling, but no one explicitly told me that the concept and feeling of home would change for me.

New Video: BEST Marriage Advice From Counselling That SAVED My Marriage

I probably should have started this email with the reason why I travelled to Nigeria. It wasn’t just for vacation but for work. We had a workers’ retreat in Lagos, and I used that opportunity to visit my family. Speaking of which, your girl has officially been promoted! 🥳 and that means more work 😭, but I’m optimistic.

🥀 The one thing we cannot control

It’s good to make plans, but things don’t always go as planned. I can recall writing down my plans at the beginning of the year and saying I would send out one dispatch email every week, but this is February, and I have only sent out one dispatch so far. Why am I saying this? Well, because nothing is certain, all we can do is plan and hope for the best.

The demise of a loved one also clouded my time in Nigeria. A rather abrupt death which shook the very core of my being. I’m still shaken. It’s surreal that I’m writing this, but death comes like a thief in the night. I still cannot believe it. The feeling of grief I’m experiencing is like a wave that rises with intense sorrow and then crashes again. If there’s one thing that stood out from her life is that she lived purposefully and poured out herself till her last breath. And so I’m learning from her to show up every day unafraid. To put myself out there. To boldly do the things I want to do - share the cringy content, write the long emails, sing at karaoke. I’m learning to live purposefully every day, so I can die empty.

There’s a lot more to share, but I’ll stop here. I will share the rest in another email. Please drink lots of water and have a fantastic week!

XOXO

Chidera